Parnam 2 all of u....
Ahem…cometh 2nd week of November and the whole country,out of sheer nervousness, is ready with Huggies wrapped tightly under their belly. This is the only time in the lives of frustoo virgins, when the adrenaline thrust exceeds the testosterone flow. Keeping all the “hormone” bawejas aside, I m not talking about the release date of the sequel of Drona with Mimoh Chakraborty in lead role and also its not about marriage date of M.F Hussain and Rakhi Sawant…I m talking about Amma of all xams- CAT. Basically, it’s a sanctimonious tormentation ceremony conducted every year which is attended by lakhs of honoured guests among which few lucky perennial prodigies get a chance to have a high octane tete-a-tete with some "Wren & Martin ki najayaaz aulad". These guests are commonly known as “CAT-aspirant” whose eyes reflect dollar dreams & legs strolling the Wall-Street way, unaware of the fiends like “bail out” and “pink slips” capable enough to engulf their dreams in a blink of an eye.Well, lemme just modify & manipulate this “CAT-aspirant” term to introduce you to 3 categories of junta who take this test….
CAT-ass-prints: This category comprises of geeks with horn-rimmed glasses, as thin as TMT kamdhenu saria with all the formulae and shortcuts tattooed on their scalps and high mock scores printed on their asses. They have the confidence to kiss The Great Khali without any second thoughts. In desi term, they are called “phodu” junta.
CAT-aspirin-ts: This category comprises of people suffering from serious disease of intellectual constipation, who take this exam just to get the admit cards so that they can show it and get some percentage hike in their respective dowries. After the exam they require heavy dose of aspirin in order to get over the nightmare. In desi term, they are called “chill-maaru” junta.
Simply CAT-aspirant: This category comprises of “ Lage Raho Munnabhais ” whose future is as bright as Curtly Ambrose’s ass, who burn midnight oil(even if its 130 $ / barrel), getting high scores in mocks, but ultimately getting their score cards turned into Shibu Soren’s school report card (getting high scores in mocks & getting screw’d up in real exam is as embarrassing as getting first night tips from ur prospective father-in-law). It also comprises of half bald “ chachas “ taking CAT since the stone age era, burdened with the expectations of their wives, girlfriends, live-in- partners (arey wahi”sajna exam mein aacha karna…tumhe meri maang kay sindoor aur shopping kay bills ki laaj rakhni hogi” types…samjha karo yaar!!).
After few months of the exam, some of the junta will possess the score cards with percentiles around 80s but multiple IIM calls & some will hold score cards printed 99 percentile on it but not a single call under their belt, as a token of distress in the country turned "milk packet" from which creamy and non creamy layer has been separated.And as as my honeymoon with CAT is concerned,i think one day i cud get enough experince to write a book titled "Beginners Guide To Traumatic CAT Journey".
CAT-ass-prints: This category comprises of geeks with horn-rimmed glasses, as thin as TMT kamdhenu saria with all the formulae and shortcuts tattooed on their scalps and high mock scores printed on their asses. They have the confidence to kiss The Great Khali without any second thoughts. In desi term, they are called “phodu” junta.
CAT-aspirin-ts: This category comprises of people suffering from serious disease of intellectual constipation, who take this exam just to get the admit cards so that they can show it and get some percentage hike in their respective dowries. After the exam they require heavy dose of aspirin in order to get over the nightmare. In desi term, they are called “chill-maaru” junta.
Simply CAT-aspirant: This category comprises of “ Lage Raho Munnabhais ” whose future is as bright as Curtly Ambrose’s ass, who burn midnight oil(even if its 130 $ / barrel), getting high scores in mocks, but ultimately getting their score cards turned into Shibu Soren’s school report card (getting high scores in mocks & getting screw’d up in real exam is as embarrassing as getting first night tips from ur prospective father-in-law). It also comprises of half bald “ chachas “ taking CAT since the stone age era, burdened with the expectations of their wives, girlfriends, live-in- partners (arey wahi”sajna exam mein aacha karna…tumhe meri maang kay sindoor aur shopping kay bills ki laaj rakhni hogi” types…samjha karo yaar!!).
After few months of the exam, some of the junta will possess the score cards with percentiles around 80s but multiple IIM calls & some will hold score cards printed 99 percentile on it but not a single call under their belt, as a token of distress in the country turned "milk packet" from which creamy and non creamy layer has been separated.And as as my honeymoon with CAT is concerned,i think one day i cud get enough experince to write a book titled "Beginners Guide To Traumatic CAT Journey".
DHANYAVAD
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